Featured Guest Journal

Do you love me?

2010-03-10T03:08:00Z

Can you guess the four most often heard words in counseling rooms across the Nation and the World?

The answer, hands down, is this:

“Do you love me?”

“Do you love me, Daddy?”

“Do you love me, Mom?”

“Do you Love me, Boyfriend?”

“Do you love me, Girlfriend?”

The desire to be loved is the most basic craving of our hearts that when left unmet, it leads to broken hearts and messed up lives.

The problem is that the way we most often measure love, is EXTERNAL—words of affirmation and approval, physical touch, passion, gifts and service, acts of kindness.

In this chapter Beth refers to the “empty cup” that we all carry from person to person asking,

“Can you fill this?”

“Can YOU fill this?

“How about You or You or You???”

When I was a little girl, my love cup was never full and most of the time was never even acknowledged. My Dad, who never received love as a child or a young man himself, simply had no experience or understanding of the love needs of a little girl. As I grew from a child to a young woman, I continued to seek that greatly needed love “in all the wrong places”, as the song goes.

I continued to seek an outward expression of an inward craving. All I found instead was more loneliness, more shame and a dirtier and dirtier cup.

It makes me think of the birth bath in my backyard.

When it is empty it gets all muddy, dirty and cracked inside. It gathers old dead leaves and looks abandoned and rather sad. Until finally, I get out there and scrub the inside with bubbly soapy water then fill it with clear cool water. When I do, that abandoned birth bath becomes the place to be for all the neighborhood birds. It turns into a party place of refreshment and frolic.

Our lives are much the same.

The deep craving that God built into our lives is for His “AGAPE” God-Kind of love, cannot be filled by anyone or anything other than Him. That is just the way He designed us and He will not let anyone or anything take His place. God’s Love is not like the love of any man or any woman. His love is selfless, sacrificial, unlimited and unearned.

Every other kind of love is just someone else’s version of trying to fill THEIR cup!! It is limited, temporary and has agenda’s attached.

Love that is expressed outside of the God Kind of Love is selfish at best and as Beth shares from Proverbs 19:22 …

”A Lie”.

God’s love is INTERNAL not EXTERNAL so none of those things that we desire will ever replace it, nor ever FILL OUR CUPS once and forever. They will always leave us dry and cracked and dirty, at some point or another.

It is only when we experience God’s AGAPE love that the inside of our cup is cleansed and filled to the point of splashing over the sides and drawing others towards us.

Mark 12:29-31 defines it beautifully as love that rises up from the heart, embraces the soul, illuminates the mind THEN reflects in our actions. Until we have it, we are incapable of giving it away.

You cannot give away what you do not have.

When we finally “get it”, when we come face-to-face, heart-to-heart, cup-to-cup with the true and living God, we never face another day, another encounter, another rejection, another heartbreak, another failure or loss, that He will not fill with His Agape Love.

In the Light

2010-02-01T15:44:00Z

Have you ever been lost in the dark?

I was, once. It happened one day when I was leaving an office building. As I waited in the hallway for an elevator, the building’s electricity suddenly blinked out. Since the sun was shining through a nearby window, I made my way to the fire exit instead, planning to walk down to my car in the parking lot below.

But as soon as the heavy door to the stairway clanged shut behind me, I was in trouble. The tightly-sealed door shut out all the light. I couldn’t see my hand in front of me. Cautiously I took a few steps forward and reached for a handrail that I thought was nearby.

Except it wasn’t. My hand swept through empty air. I took a few more steps and groped around. Nothing. I started to panic. What if I missed a step and tumbled down the stairs? I turned around, intending to go back through the door to the sunny hallway--only to discover that I could no longer find the door.

By then, I was disoriented and afraid to move. I knelt down and tried to feel my way down the steps, but that didn’t work either. I was completely lost in the dark.

Finally I heard someone coming down from a floor above me. A man had left the building by the stairwell, too, but he had a book of matches and was lighting them one by one to guide his steps. He let me hold onto him, and together, we navigated our way out of the building and into the light.

When I read what Beth has to say about lies in Praying God’s Word, I remembered the day when I was lost in the dark. Scripture tell us that Satan is the father of deceit, and as Beth reminds us, he wants to keep us trapped in the spiritual darkness that is born from lies, whether they are the lies we tell ourselves, or the lies we tell others.

But there is a way out. As Beth says, “the enemy knows that once we expose the secret places of our lives to the light of God’s Word, we’re on our way to freedom.” God’s Word illuminates our path, and it will never fail us. But we must hold onto it, cling to it, and lean on it. When we’re lost in dark places, we must turn to His Word as the lamp for our feet, as a light that will direct our steps and keep us safe. What a gift, to walk in that marvelous light!

A Garden of Pride

2009-12-11T00:39:00Z

Pride. I suspect that no stronghold is easier for us to spot in someone else, yet oh-so-difficult to recognize when staring back at us in the mirror. When it comes to the strongholds that Beth addresses in Praying God’s Word, this one is of epic proportions. Ironically, at the core pride is the human heart craving independence from God—our Creator, Sustainer and Redeemer.

Pride entered the scene of human history right on the heels of its close friend, unbelief. While it was Eve’s unbelief in the goodness of God that led her into sin, Satan used pride as the incentive when tempting her with the lie, “You will be like God.” Just think how delicious that must have sounded … to be like God. Exalted. Independent. Worshipped. . With that kind of enticement Eve grabbed the forbidden fruit faster than you can say fig leaf.

And we’ve all been following in her footsteps ever since.

My journey with Jesus has been one of day-by-day, year-by-year, tearing down the stronghold of pride. My first step of faith required a death to my prideful independence, also known as “rebellion.” Then to accept by faith the work of Jesus on the cross required I renounce all prideful attempts to earn righteousness by my own merit. Frankly, trusting Jesus required an end to trusting in self.

Then, as I began to grow in faith, Jesus asked me to trust Him and called me to a new level of surrender to His will. At this point a different stronghold of pride surfaced named “entitlement.” Entitlement demanded of God a life mapped out according to my plan and my agenda. Through the crushing of this pride I discovered the glorious life of surrender.

Thankfully, there is a cure for the cancerous pride that seeks to destroy each of us and keep us in isolated independence…this cure is called humility. I heard it said once, “Humility is the right sizing of myself that comes with just one eyeful of His Majesty.” I know this to be true. Praying God’s Word effectively destroys the stronghold of pride because through studying, reading and praying Scripture, God is revealed, exalted and magnified in our hearts and minds. When we see Him clearly for who He is…then we see ourselves for who we really are—creatures dependent upon our Creator. Just think… the only reason we have breath in our bodies is because the Lord wills it…that fact alone is extremely humbling.

Today, when pride tempts me to make much of myself or live life on my terms, I run back to the Word and remind myself of the greatness of my God and my complete and total dependence upon Him.

Help my unbelief...

2009-11-06T13:08:00Z

I love this excerpt from Beth because there is so much I can relate to. To be totally honest, it’s really refreshing to be able to say that about someone you respect spiritually. I think we’ve all had that moment where we realize that while it’s always a good goal in life to be striving toward loving the Lord better, we also need to know that it might not ever feel perfect in this life.

Let me rephrase.

It won’t feel perfect in this life.

It sounds so cliché that I’m tempted to go back and delete. Try to come up with something much more spiritually profound and new. But the truth is, it’s hard for me to believe all the time. I have moments where I question what I believe, where I think I may have put all my eggs in a basket that isn’t going to come through for me.

I bet you do too.

I feel like that’s why the Lord gave us stories like the one in the New Testament, where we hear a man pleading on behalf of his ill daughter. Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief…

I think I struggled with this one for a while because I saw it as black and white, with no room for moments of questioning. For many years I criticized myself for the thoughts that would swirl around in my head, too afraid of being ostracized by my “serious” Christian friends. I lifted my hands during worship, prayed through the crevices of doubt, and asked the Lord to help my unbelief.

It wasn’t until much later that I realized that while He is true to His word, and I believe He will help, the fact is that if He took away my ability to feel unbelief, I couldn’t choose Him.

I’m not going to say I never doubt, or that I don’t struggle with the fact that the God of the universe has fallen in love with me. That’s a lot to take in, especially when you know the parts of yourself that you wish you could tuck away and pretend never existed. What I am realizing is that as Beth mentions, this has much more to do with me than it does Him.

One night I laughed out loud as I prayed because I realized I was pleading with God to take away my questioning. I was praying fervently. Passionately. Desperately. I felt like I was at the end of my rope with my faith walk. There was a moment where I sensed His presence, and as a smile crept across my face in the darkness, I realized that if I didn’t really believe, I probably wouldn’t have spent so much time talking to Him.

I mean, if I’m going to make a request, it should probably be with Someone Who exists, right?

Thousands of years ago it was a man who wanted to trust that Jesus was able, and it isn’t any different tonight. Do you believe that he can help your unbelief? Do you see yourself as someone who is worthy of such lopsided love?

If you are curled up in His lap, offering up your doubt, I imagine He will whisper the same thing to you as He has to me many times.

Sweet child, you’ve come to the right place…

Court Is In Session

2009-10-12T13:10:00Z

One of the verses I often share when speaking to teen girls is Psalm 26:2-3 which says, “Test me, O LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind; for your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in your truth.” Too often, we worry more about behavior modification tactics rather than diving deep down into the core root of the sin problem. If we can develop the practice of asking God to examine our hearts and minds on a regular basis, we are far less likely to fall for the enemy’s lies when he comes dangling his carrots of temptation before us. And you can bet that he will. It’s not a matter of “if,” but “when.” Many Christians will be lured off God’s path and hopping down the bunny trail of sin in no time, blinded by the enemy’s deception.

Case in point: When speaking to girls, I can address the problem of immodesty by quoting 1 Timothy 2:9a, “I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety…” and leave it at that, assuming the problem is solved and most girls will leave the event with a renewed zeal to clean out their closets when they get home. Or I can go a step further by letting them know what God has to say on the topic of modesty (1 Tim. 2:9) and then encourage them to invite God to examine their hearts (Psalm 26:2-3) in an effort to get to the root of why they may choose to dress immodestly at times. Are they insecure and desperate for male attention? So desperate in fact, that they are willing to settle for the wrong kind of attention? Or might they just be followers, looking to fit in by wearing the latest trends? Either way, dressing immodestly is only a symptom of a deeper root problem and if not addressed at the core, it will likely continue, even if temporary measures are taken to clean up their wardrobe.

The actual Hebrew word for “examine” in Psalm 26:2 is shaphat (shaw-fat´) which means to “judge” as in “pass sentence for or against.” The NLT translation of Psalm 26:2-3 says it this way: “Put me on trial, LORD, and cross-examine me. Test my motives and affections. For I am constantly aware of your unfailing love, and I have lived according to your truth.” The idea of inviting God to “put our hearts on trial” can be a bit unsettling to say the least. It’s important that we know God’s purpose when it comes to examining our hearts. The Hebrew word for “try” (as in “try my heart”) is tsaraph (tsaw-raf´) which means to “refine,” “melt,” “purge away,” as a goldsmith would do when purifying gold.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “God enters by a private door into every individual.” You can’t put a deadbolt on the door of your heart. Truth be told, many Christians spend more energy attempting to barricade the secret places of their hearts and tuning out the Judge’s verdict regarding their motives and affections. Only those who want to be “refined” will allow God to “purge away” the impurities that lie deep within their hearts. When we understand that God judges our motives and affections as an act of His unfailing love for us and we keep that love “ever before us” (Psalm 26:3), only then can we walk “continually in His truth.”

So, how about it? Are you ready to put your heart on trial? The refining process is not easy, but the outcome is well worth it. It’s time to remove the rusty deadbolts and swing the doors of our hearts wide open to the only One who can make us whole.

by Vicki Courtney, Author of 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter

PrayerGates Guest Journal

2009-09-21T20:28:00Z

We will soon host the first of our PrayerGates guest prayer journalers. These women will help us to see how that week's excerpt from Praying God's Word has impacted their lives. You don't have to wait to begin utilizing PrayerGates, though. Create a profile, begin journaling, and support the prayer requests of others!